Dream Diary
old
c. 1980
Tonight it's the amateur photography club, which meets in the skittle alley of the sports and social club at my father's factory. The alley is old-fashioned - its appearance is old fashioned in a way that reflects the style of the time it was built. However, this makes it feel seedy, perhaps because I associate this feel with places that are both old and seedy. It's as if a kind of artificial butlins glitz hangs in the air, like they are perpetually caught half way between taking down the shimmering christmas decorations and leaving up the glitter ball from the last time there was a disco.
The presenter tonight is a man presumably in his forties (although I am not a great judge of age). He has wispy white hair, swept across a shiny head. He sits at the projector, rambling on about some obscure photos he had taken twenty years previously of buildings that no longer exist. The sound of pop music from the jukebox filters around from the heavily carpeted bar next door. Old ladies and awkward, bearded men sit in rapt attention; none of them are paying any attention to me as I stand at the back.
Suddenly, there is an enormous crashing sound, as a mushroom cloud of dust spews from the wall where a hole is being made - a flurry of breezeblocks tumble inwards into the dust, as the body of a large, male gorilla comes in their wake. He is waving his arms in a confrontational way, and I know that it's me that he is after. None of the people watching the slide show seem to pay any attention... it's like they can't see what is happening, or maybe they just don't care what happens to me as they are more interested in their slides.
The gorilla chases me around, and I try to trick it by running back through the hole it has just created. However, it knows what I am thinking, and follows me back into the next room, which is a store-room where the barrels of beer are kept. I also notice that there is a strange glow about the gorilla, kind of like ball lightning only less powerful and more stable, more coherent. I know that the energy is sentient, and that it is the intelligence behind the creature. It can read my thoughts, and knows my fear. I know that it is my fear.
I realise that I am dreaming, that I am having a nightmare. I try to wake up, straining to open my eyes, trying to see the light coming from beneath the door of my room (which is the bedroom in my grandmother's house). Gradually the scene fades away as I am able to bring myself nearer to consciousness. The gorillla is nearly upon me, but I struggle free and find that I have woken up, and am lying in my bunk bed. I can now see the light under the door, and know that I am safe.
However, the light under the door seems to oscillate, and grow. I realise that I cannot move in my bed. The energy from my dream is here, it had followed me back to reality. It comes under the door, it can sense where I am. It floats up to the top bunk where I am sleeping. I close my eyes but I can still see it in my mind. I can feel as it starts to envelope me, the energy shoots through my arms like pins and needles, a hot fuzzy feeling overcomes me as I am trapped and consumed in my bed.
As I at last wake up for real, I realise that it was the same shivering, buzzing sensation as when the camel was in my own bedroom. It was the same conscious entity, and it was again after me.
c. 1979
I am lying in bed. It is early in the morning, and I am just drifting out of sleep. The duvet on my bed has a white cover crossed with blue stripes, and the curtains are very light. Even though I am completely underneath the covers, the light easily permeates the thin white fabric, bathing me in a soft brightness.
I hear the postman coming along the path by the side of the bungalow, and realise that this is strange, as today must be Sunday. The postman doesn't normally come on Sunday. I look out of the window, and see that the postman is actually my father, who is wearing his dressing gown and slippers. He is carrying an old leather school satchel, which he must be using to carry the post. But why is he delivering the post to our own house?
In the corner of the room, I notice the camel bookcase, which is a carved wooden camel, about half scale, whose spine has been carved to form a book shelf. It is just like the camel bookcase in the children's section of our local library, which I always find a little menacing. The camel's face has a mean and furtive expression, like it knows something, or is plotting something against you. Maybe this is the actual camel from the library... why does it now belong to me?
Then I realise that the camel is in league with my father. They have been collaborating against me. The camel will probably be able to get me here in the room, but even if I get out of the room, my father is already outside the front door, ready to catch me. The camel starts to move, and to laugh... I sense a strange buzzing noise and visual disturbance around him, and feel a cold shiver.
I then wake up terrified in the very same bed. I realise that I have been dreaming about being in a waking nightmare.
c. 1978
The sweetshop is not somewhere that I frequent. I have better things to spend my money on. And sweets just aren't really very interesting. But today, I feel like some refreshers and some sherbet dib-dab. The sweet shop is on the same street as the local school, near to my house. The walls are covered with extremely tall shelves, and I can't even see the plastic containers of sweets that are on the top shelf. I hunt around between the standing shelves, looking for the sweets that I want.
Then, a number of men come into the shop. They are looking for children it seems, perhaps they need some help. I don't feel as if I have much choice, as the shopkeeper is not there, so I don't have any way of escaping the situation. One of the men takes me by the arm, but not roughly, as if they are trying to make out that we are going to come willingly.
They lead us outside. They have a truck outside, a workman's pickup truck with roadsigns, brushes, shovels, and drills stacked in the back. They line us up behind the truck, and tie ropes around our waists. I notice that the other ends of the ropes are already attached to the truck, and realise that their intention is to drive away, with us dragging along the road behind them.
When we are all secured, they all go to the front of the truck, and instead of driving off, we can hear them laughing and discussing the success of their plans. They cannot see us, so I take my chance to escape. I run down a side-street, and hear them shouting and chasing after me. I run into the school, and into the secretary's office. I can hear the men outside the building, but I have managed to give them the slip.
c. 1977
I am walking along a country lane, holding my mother's hand. The autumn leaves are being blown from their branches by the wind, and are falling diagonally across the lane. Our Wellington boots make a soft crunching sound as they swish through the leaves which have collected along the boundary between the grass verge and the tarmac.
I ask my mother where we are going, and she tells me that we have to go to the dentists. I am afraid that something nasty might have to be done, but hopefully I will be put to sleep so that I cannot feel any pain. She doesn't look down at me as she is speaking, as if she is trying to be strong and authoritative, perhaps because she is hiding her own trepidation or discomfort.
The lane turns a slow bend, and the dentists is what appears to be an old farm building, with a hay barn to one side of the main house. My dentist is standing outside waiting, wearing his white coat, although the nurse isn't there. As we approach, he has a quick word with my mother, and I notice a large white object on the driveway. It reminds me of a suspended animation chamber from "A Space Oddessey", a large white sarcophogus with a small viewing portal in the face position.
My mother tells me that I have to get into the chamber, so that the dentist can perform his work. I am a bit frightened, but she assures me that it will be alright. The casing is opened, and slides down so that I can get in. It is full adult sized, so my feet barely go halfway down into the chamber, but I stay at the top so that as the case closes, I can see out of the portal.
The device makes a number of loud clanks and noises, and then there is a rushing of water, similar to the noise when the washing machine is filling up. Then I feel the water starting to rise, covering my back and starting to run into my ears. Within a few moments, the chamber is almost filled with water, and through the portal I can see that my mother and the dentist are standing next to each other, laughing. They were obviously in it togehter all along, and had planned this so that they could get rid of me. The last thing I see as the water pulls me under is the look of cold disdain on their faces, with the leaves still falling around the chamber, as I fade into a cold and terrifying sleep.