Dream Diary
2001
Fri Oct 19 06:00:00 BST 2001
I am sitting in a room, with my family around me. The chairs are arranged around the room, so that everyone is facing each other. A niece is sitting next to me, and she wants to show me the new toy that she has just received for christmas. She points at a small black box which is up on a shelf on the wall. It looks a little like a loudspeaker that might be part of a stereo system, but she explains to me that it is much more sophisticated that that.
She waves a remote control at it, and suddenly a shape appears before me, sitting on my lap. It is a small green creature, similar in proportion to a sloth, with long arms, and a flat elongated head. However, its surface is more reptilian in appearance, sort of like lizard or snake-skin. It has a lifeless apperance, apart from an anthropomorphic personality that might be posessed by a puppet or ventriloquist's dummy. However, it is reasonably heavy, about the weight that a monkey of that size might be, which made it seem less artificial.
However, looking into its face was confusing. Its features were not fully defined, as if they were fuzzy. My niece explained it to me as I looked on, she was saying something about a holographic projection, and describing how the mechanism worked. That explained the incomplete appearance, it was like a low resolution polygon mesh that was approximating a more detailed shape, but being tesselated as more triangles were added to increase the level of detail.
I felt a sense of anxiety, as the features were forming; they seemed quite menacing. Looking into the eyes, I saw that they were quite like a chimp's eyes, with an innocent wisdom, but also a flare of primal aggression. As I became more uncomfortable, the creature became more intimidating. It was curling its upper lip, growling, reaching its hands around my shoulders as I instinctively drew back slightly in my chair, reaching my hands to hold it under the arms in an effort to keep it at bay. I heard my niece saying that the sensors read the expression on your face, and react to your emotions. Because I was afraid, it was reacting to me as a scared animal would.
I tried to focus my mind on remaining calm, and on relaxing the tension in my chest and my face. I consciously visualised my face, and how it projected my inner feelings. I tried to empathise with this creature, and show it that I was not afraid, but also show that I was friendly. It stopped what it was doing, its hand on either of my shoulders, and leaned its head on one side as if contemplating this change in my expression.
As it looked straight into my eyes, I could see an awareness growing inside it, and a warmth, reflecting the feelings that I was now showing, and I realised that I was now feeling. I contemplated how it was like a feedback loop, that its reaction to me was finely linked to my own behaviour, and how I chose to become the thing that I wanted it to be for me. In fact, the more I interacted with it, the closer it came to being like me, as if it was getting inside my mind, and the more our consciousness and behaviour merged into one.
Then suddenly it disappeared, as my niece laughed with delight at how captivated I had become by this sophisticated new toy. She applauded me in a patronising way, and then hugged me with a warmth, that reminded me of the feeling I had for the little creature that had just been as close to me.
Sat Oct 6 07:00:00 BST 2001
The sound of hushed voices radiates around the walls of this subterranean cathedral, gradually burrowing into the cracks and alcoves that have been hewn into the rock. The rough texture of the stone is highlighted by rippling rays, shimmering up from spotlights submerged in pools that line the sides of the hall. The air is damp, presumably from water that seeps through the porous rock, and this intensifies the sound that is already reverberating around the vaulted ceiling.
I am an observer here, I have been sent to record this event. It is a wedding between some high profile members of the aristocracy of a small african country, and it is being held here. This magnificent cave has been transformed into the central chambers of the underground resistance movement. The resistance is trying to return the monarchy to power, as the ruling christian government have been making radical changes to the country, eroding their culture and attempting to replace it with a fundamentalist theocracy.
However, due to the nature of the unrest in the region, the wedding has to be conducted in secrecy. Therefore, as an independent witness I have the responsibility to report back on the event. It seems as if everyone is here, the families of the king and his bride, numerous high up officials, and a whole entourage that give off the air of being affiliated with less official parts of the resistance movement. In fact, given that it's supposed to be secret, there seem to be an awful lot of people who are important enough or - maybe just interested enough - to attend. If there is any security here, it is either minimal, or very discreet, as it is not entirely obvious to me what proportion of the audience is here to keep the rest of the audience under control.
Of course, I am not here in an official capacity. My government are very keen not to be seen to be interfering in this situation. In fact, they are probably playing both sides off against each other, but then it wouldn't be in the interests of my superiors for me to know too much about what I am meant to be doing. That would be too much like interfering. It suits them to send me here without an agenda; but it doesn't suit me, as without the necessary intelligence information, I am operating in considerable danger.
The ceremony begins. I notice that most of the officials and family members are wearing a similar outfit, consisting of black suits with leopardskin lapels, and small leopardskin hats. I look at the hat on one guy close to me, and it looks almost like a fez, but without a tassle. Many people are wearing shades, which is strange given that we are underground, and this seems to give the whole affair something of a rock concert feeling to it, rather than a wedding.
Before the wedding itself begins, there are a number of short speeches, talking about the event and its significance. The speeches are almost evangelical in their tone, and don't seem particularly interested in the wedding itself, but more towards the implications, and propaganda about how the conflict will go in the coming weeks. However, during the speeches, I notice some unrest in the crowd. There is a different group nearer the back, wearing black but with no leopardskin attached.
Suddenly, some of the troublemakers seem to pull off their top robes, revealling white collars beneath. They have a loudhailer, and shout out some brief bible quotation, before pulling out machine guns. They start firing indiscriminately into the crowd, which rapidly descends into chaos. Being at the side of the hall, I am in relative safety, but as I try to get to the exit at the back, I see large number of people sprawling around, spilling their blood onto the rocky floor.
As I run down the corridoor, I can hear the voices behind me informing the victims that their souls are being saved from damnation, that they will be saved for eternity so that millions more can live their lives according to the christian gospels. I fear that this massacre might be the end of the resistance...
Fri Aug 25 06:00:00 BST 2001
It is the first day back at university. I go to college and go into my room and I have to unpack and that kind of thing, there is a room mate who I share a room with its on the first floor of a house. I go out onto the streets as there are some things that I need to buy. There is a row of shops on the road behind the house, it's on a hill towards the junction with the ring road, kind of on the outskirts of town. I go into a shop, and some people are coming in from outside behind me. They are being pretty aggressive, and so I decide that I should leave. Actually it turns out that the shop was closed, and there was just a small section at the front of the shop with a display window, but you couldn't get into the shop. The group confront me there, and they seem strange... like they have some kind of problem, maybe a mediacal problem. One of them is the aggressor, he is hassling me and shouting at me, so I pick up a large piece of metal which is like part of a bike frame, and I start swinging at him, he kind of dodges and laughs at me, egging me on, I shake it threateningly, showing that I am not afraid and he continues to laugh. I swing again, and this time a larege spike of the metal peirces the flesh near his shoulder, making quite a deep wound. He is confused by this, and can't quite figure out what has happenend. I take my chance to slip away.
I go back to visit a friend in his room. He has just arrived for the start of term also, and is geting his room ready, which is a large room inside the college walls. He tells me about this film that I have to see. It's like nothing i've ever seen before, and is very psychedeilic. A friend of his is also there, but he hides behind the door as we are talking, pretending that he is not there. We have some red wine, which I think the other guy has prepared with some pure LSD25. They are telling me about the film that has some weird mutants that are kind of like zombies.
I go back to my new house. My flat mate is asleep, on his bad. it is dark now, but I can't sleep. He starts vomiting in his sleep, so I go over to him, and try to drag him outside, otherise his vomit will get all over our new room. I manage to get him to the hallway, but I am worried that he might have some hind of condition that I have made worse by dragging him around. I continue to drag him further, and we get to the back door of the house, which I notice is not very sturdy, with three small flimsy locks, that have been painted dark green to coordinate with the lime green of the door.
It's now light outside, and I take him out into the back garden. There are lots of people outside, and they all seem to be suffering from a strange condition, they all look pale and have strange mutations and deformities on there faces. More worryingly, they are displaying the behaviour of a hysterical mob. As I pass through the crowd, they seem to notice me, although they are all standing around suspiciously, and wailing, and jabbering to themselves about something I don't understand. I leave my room-mate in the garden, he is still asleep but he is not vomiting now. Four of the people seem to think that I am friendly, and come along with me - back into the house through the front door.
We all wait in my room, as if there is a sense that something is about to happen. One of the girls seems to know me, or at least she says she knows me but I don't remember her - she says that her name is Lyra. She talks to me provocatively, trying to get my attention by flattery, but in a fairly tacky way. I get the impression that she may be a prostitite, but I am not so sure. She touches my arm, and holds her hand on my skin for a moment, and then pulls it away. The othres are standing around in a kind of trance, I think that they are friendly to me. Then we notice that there are lots of people outside the internal door in my bedroom, which leads into the corridoor. The corridoor is shared between a lot of the rooms in adjacent houses, which have been made into a block of accomodation by the university. The door has a complicated security mechanism, including a one way mirror so that you can see out at the poeple outside. There is also a system for passing though parcels, such as you would find at the post office. The door is very wide, about two meters.
One girl who is standing in my room warns me about the others outside. They are infected she says. I am unsure what this means... she seems to be very heavily drugged so I don't pay her much attention. However, the people outside seem to be threatening, and are very insistent on entry. We stay quiet, hoping they they will go away. Then some police arrive, they want to be let in, so they point their large weapons through the glass and shout at me to open up and let them in. We all hide and stay quiet, hoping to avoid letting them in. However, I manage to sneak up to the mirror and grab one of the guns thorugh the parcel delivery mechanism. This gives us at least some ability to negotiate.
Then I decide that it's time to get out of here. There is another corridoor leading from the other side of the room, that I hadn't noticed before. I see that there are several of the enemy zombies coming down the corridoor, and I know that getting out of here is very important. I start blasting my way down the corridoor - they seem to be relatively easy to kill with one shot, as the gun is very powerful. So although they are coming in wave after wave, I am able to press through their numbers in to the university building. I sneak across a landing, and down into the college basement, where the common rooms are.
I go into the cafe, and notice that there are a number of what seem to be mutants sitting around a table in a corner. I go over to join them. They are discussing the condition that they have. They speak to me as if I am friendly, and instruct me on the things that I need to do in order to keep control of the condition, in particular I have to get new face skin from someone and replace my own, and they also give me the recipe to a herbal remedy that they believe helps. It seems that they think I have the condition, the thought of which I find alarming, but I am not entirely convinced.
They decide to leave, and so we go out of the cafe through an underground corridoor into a different part of the univesity building. It's like a sequence of connected rooms without a common staircase or corridoor. We move into one room, and it is clear that the next room is filled with a large hostile group. I have now realised that I have the condition, but not in an advanced form, which is why the group in the cafe were giving me help on how to avoid turning too far. I realise that the mutations have given me new powers, and that I am able to defeat them by using some form of biochemical process in my body.
We go into the next room and a fight starts. I wade into the middle of the enemy, laying my hands onto their bodies. I feel very strong, but that the strength is internal. As I touch their decaying mutated fleash, I feel a substance oozing out of my skin onto thiers, a kind of immune system serum contained in the grease that is created by my infected skin. As I grip the limbs of the enemy I am able to cause them to mutate further, and feel the strength drainging from them, as if their muscles are now decomposing beneath their flesh as my new bio virus infects their bodies. I can see their muscles writhing and growing uncontrollablly like a macroscopic cancer under their skin, and their bodies twist and grow out of proportion as they decompose into a thick soup of biuomatter on the floor.
Mon May 21 06:00:00 BST 2001
I am walking through a dark, atmospheric room, resembling the interior of an industrial warehouse or factory. I can hear other people moving around in the building. I notice that the lighting is actually coming from carefully designed skylights that coerce the light to spread thinly but effectively around the room. Despite the gloom, it is possible to see rust and mold decorating the walls.
I start to recognise the style of the surroundings - the familiar battlegrounds of the computer game Quake. I must be in a virtual reality that is based on the computer game, as it is far more immersive, and I can walk around and really see the light illuminating the rough surface of the textured walls. It looks convincingly real, and my body seems to be within the simulation, rather than an external spectator.
I walk up a metal spiral staircase, and find a large gun lying on the ground - again an obvious reference to the computer game. But am I in danger? Or is it all symbolic?
I walk into a large - vaguely hexagonal - room, which is darker than the staircase as it is more enclosed. There is a large glowing light emanating from one edge of the room. As I walk towards it, I notice that it is a large hologram, that is somehow constructed purely of light that is being projected into the room... perhaps if the whole scene is being holgraphically projected then this is just a special case which happens to look like a classical hologram, as opposed to looking like a realistic representation of a real environment.
As I approach, the detail of the hologram becomes clearer and brighter. It is a diagrammatic representation of a brain, stored in some kind of jar. The image is rotating as if to make it easier to view it from all angles, and therefore easier to take in its shape and structure in three dimensions. The brightly coloured image is actually in two shades - blue and red for the two hemispheres respectively, and on closer inspection it is possible to see small flashes of light, presumably representing the firing of neurons within the brain.
Someone appears - I am not sure whether they were there all along, whether they sneaked up on me, or whether they have just materialised there. It quickly becomes apparent that this is not a real person; its voice is stilted and monotonous, and seems to talk at me irrespective of my attempts to interrupt. I can't quite distinguish its gender, it fact it is sufficiently androgynous that determining its gender doesn't occur to me for some moments.
Presuming it to be a simulated character within the virtual reality environment, I allow it to continue. It describes the image projected between us as a holographic representation of a simulated brain. The images of neurones firing correpond to actual physiological events within the simulated brain (that is to say that they are not just cosmetic, but are generated as part of the underlying physics and biology of the simulation).
More importantly however, it seems that the entire environment around me is being constructed based on the substance of the thoughts within the brain. Somehow these thoughts are being converted into a physical simulation, which is then projected as reality. The brain must have been trained with enough information about the world to be able to referentially represent the concepts within the scene, and there must be layers of software beneath the neural simulation that interprets the structure of the neural network into an externalised form.
So in fact the simulated brain is acutally imagining the entire environment. The environment is an emergent property of the simulation. I am dreaming about being in an artificially generated dream.